The Denial

Is there any person who has not been through denial? Mostly every person has been in denial.

So, what is denial? 

It's a way of coping with something bad by not accepting reality. We tend to avoid reality to not deal with the overpowering emotions. We struggle to accept the truth, which can cause stress or anxiety. It can be about anything or anyone. It can be a certain type of loss or shock.

Why does it happen?

We know somewhere deep down that this is the truth and if I accept I will have to deal with overwhelming emotions for which we are not ready. So, our mind uses denial as a defence mechanism. In this way, we do not have to deal with the problems. We try to live a normal life. 

How to know when we are in denial?

1. We refuse to talk about a specific topic.

2. We tend to try to avoid situations that can make you think about it.

3. We find excuses for our behaviour.

4. We tend to lash out at the person who is trying to make us talk about it.

5. We indulge ourselves in different activities so that we don't have to think about it.

Is it good for us?

No, denial is not good for anyone. It just keeps you from reality and you get filled by the emotions on the inside day by day. Which will lead to a sudden burst of emotions, which is not good for you, your mental health and your loved ones. 

Sometimes, it can give you some time to deal with situations. But eventually, you have to deal with it.

Examples of some common denials in the young generation-

1. Learning the truth about something but ignoring it (like when you find someone cheating on you, or when you are done with certain person toxicity).

2. Relying on alcohol and other things to not deal with emotions.

3. Not accepting you need help for coping with depression, anxiety.

4. Lashing out at everyone, due to the adding up of hatred for a situation you are ignoring.

How to deal with it?

1. We can talk to someone about the problem we are trying to ignore.

2. We can think about why we are trying to avoid this situation.

3. We can focus on the good when dealing with truth, the relief you will have.

4. We can consider what will happen if we do not deal with it.

5. We can have professional help.

I know denial can help us try to avoid our emotions, not think about the problem, to run away from sad and heartbroken feelings. But you can not ignore it for longer. You will have to deal with it someday so why not try to deal with it today so you can be free of burden. 

IT IS OKAY TO BE SAD SOMETIMES. TALK TO SOMEONE (it helps). Take your time.